Disobey Yourself: The Second Voice

Sometimes you just can’t be arsed. Maybe even a lot of the time. Today we’re splitting the confusing self-talk that holds us back into two: the first and second voice. This simple stratification of the ego might be enough to put some serious performance points on the board.

The first voice is base and aversive, the snarky voice of dislike. The one that says “I can’t be arsed to go to the gym today.” Evolutionary biology, while far from perfect, gives us clues. For most of human history, food sources were uncertain. It’s only a recent pleasantry that we have near-guaranteed access to calories. Our brains still carry the imprint of scarcity, prioritising energy conservation.

That bias whispers: save it, stop, don’t spend.

The second is cultural, the one you fashion from the offcuts of your upbringing, desires and discipline. This is what pushes you to go against the default “stop here” reflex. You summon it when you refuse to quit, when you run the extra kilometre your body swore you couldn’t.

There’s a psychological underpinning here too: in Hayes’ Acceptance and Commitment Therapy framework, one strategy for betterment involves the observer self, a forced perspective where you notice thoughts without obeying them. 

Everyone hears the first voice no matter what. The second voice, however, can be trained.

Like A Dog With A Bone

We often glorify the idea of “listening to yourself.” But what if our natural inclination is lazy, risk-averse, or simply scared? Then the second voice must be cultivated. For centuries, people have leaned on mentors to provide that push… someone who walked the road before and can lend us perspective or urgency when the first voice gets too loud.

Back in ‘92, a researcher called Eisenberger introduced the idea of learned industriousness. Its definition can be summed up as teaching ourselves to find effort itself rewarding once it's associated with success. This is the logical underpinning behind the decision to show up to the gym even when you really, really, really don’t want to.

It’s not a new thing either, take some advice from one of the greats back in 1939, C.S. Lewis:

“There are always plenty of rivals to our work. We are always falling in love or quarrelling, looking for jobs or fearing to lose them, getting ill and recovering, following public affairs. If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. 

The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavourable. Favourable conditions never come.”  

Input Influence

Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” In 2025, many of those “people” aren’t physical friends but creators, podcasts, and feeds. The voices you consume become the voices you internalise. If you flood your environment with shallow, noisy inputs, your first voice gains strength. If you curate mentors (even virtual ones) who demand more of you, your second voice grows louder.

Your media diet is akin to your nutrition. Empty calories weaken performance; nourishing inputs strengthen it. Books that stretch you, conversations that challenge you and creators who inspire you become scaffolding for your second voice.

Borrowed Voices

You don’t always have to rely on willpower alone. Comedian Ed Helms (Andy from The Office) records advice to himself for different woes — one for stress, one for fear, one for self-doubt. When his first voice gets too loud, he plays his messages back. Sure it’s a bit awkward, but it works. Tapping into a past version of yourself, rational and calm, to coach your present self through emotional turbulence, is an interesting tool.

You can do the same in less technical ways. Ask: 

What would the coolest/fittest/best/most successful version of me do right now? 

Alternatively, what would my biggest inspiration do?

Perspective-shifting breaks the trance of the first voice. Even when/ if you lack accountability partners in real life, you can borrow voices until your own grows strong enough to override the reflex to stop.

Life’s A Gym

ZAAG readers already live this truth in the physical realm: the gym. You’ve felt the resistance, you’ve heard the first voice beg you to rack the bar or cut the run short. And you’ve chosen otherwise. Over and over.

That choice is the essence of the second voice.

Don’t leave that lesson next to the dumbbells. Bring it into your work, art, business and relationships. The second voice isn’t just for one more rep. It’s for one more pitch, one more draft, one more honest conversation, one more risk.

Once you’ve trained your second voice to be louder than your first, all that’s left to do is listen.