The Art of Standing Out

Let’s face it, the best performers–those we admire, emulate and glamorise–are the ones who stand out. They’re the outliers, the weirdos, the ones who dare to be different.

There’s a weird contradiction: we throw our money, attention and Insta likes at people who zag while the majority zig. Yet there’s a real hesitancy to do it ourselves.

In nature, sticking in the middle of the pack means safety. On the fringes, you’re exposed and vulnerable. That’s the selfish herd theory for you. 

Research backs this up. Social anxiety has been rising for years. Over 60% of Americans (and likely a similar proportion of Brits) admit they self-censor in public and online settings.

But… performance isn’t about blending it. It’s about pushing the envelope, taking risks and daring to be unpalatable for long enough to get noticed.

Caught Up

As writer Paul Kingsnorth points out, our reliance on the “web” and “net” says something about the entrapping dependence we have on technology. It outwardly promises connection whilst actually delivering retreat and a generous portion of overstimulation.

Outliers innovate. A study across 62 countries found that individualism correlates strongly with innovation. No surprise there. Whether in physical, business or cultural arenas, those who decide to be different instead of seeking permission are the ones who get their flowers. Eventually.

Uniqueness comes with a cost. The first to break the rules are called crazy; the second are brave; the third jump in when they’re told “the water’s fine!”

Being individual in a way that drives performance is about timing–and guts.

Lockdown Uptick

Talking of timing, a twenty-year study on uniqueness with over a million respondents saw a consistent gradual downtick in people identifying as such… until 2020/2021. During the pandemic, behaviours like “defending beliefs” and “not following rules” sharply increased. 

Stripped of daily societal pressures, many permitted ourselves to be a bit more… us. For a brief moment, the scales tipped. Free from collective expectations, we leaned into our idiosyncrasies and flourished in our weirdness. 

But now it’s back to business as usual. The herd mentality is reasserting itself, and with it comes a reluctance to stand out. Three years removed, our collective psyche is returning to old rhythms.

Risk v Reward

It’s not all romance though. Standing out comes with risk. Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point highlights a pattern: outliers are often castigated before they’re celebrated.

Far more of us inherently play things safe, that’s what makes those who stick their head above the parapet all the more impressive. Consider some Dutch research, where participants were asked to deliver small electric shocks to their partners for tiny financial reward.

About 50% said no–until the researcher stood behind them and told them to do it. Then, fewer than 1% of over 450 people completely refused. This shows the inclination for conformity. And how rare true defiance is. The first to stand out often pays the price for the rest of us. 

We’re left with a fundamental tension: we want to express ourselves unashamedly, but we also want to belong. Standing on the edge feels dangerous, but staying in the middle feels stifling.

Simon Says

Humans have a complicated relationship with rules. One study found that people will follow rules even when they don’t fully understand them, as long as they believe everyone else is doing the same. Trust in the collective matters. But when too many people break the rules without consequences (*gestures wildly towards America*), that trust erodes, and we retreat further into our individual bubbles.

This isn’t just a modern problem. Thatcher’s infamous line, “There’s no such thing as society,” set the tone for a rise in individualism – that is to say, focusing on the self over the collective. For fifty years, we’ve cantered further down this lane, told to look out for ourselves if we want to get ahead.

It’s a philosophy that’s delivered mixed results. Individualism correlates with innovation, yes, but it also comes with a darker side. Rising anxiety and depression levels have mirrored the rise in individualism. Coincidence? Perhaps. But research suggests otherwise: when we feel isolated as individuals, we’re more prone to anxiety and depression.

No Size Fits All

And yet, different cultures approach this balance differently. A fascinating study comparing Japanese and American students found that Americans focused more on the foreground, while Japanese students were more attuned to the context and backdrop.

The sweet spot? It’s about knowing when to follow and when to rebel. How to oscillate. Performance thrives on this balance. The best performers know when to respect the rules, when to bend them, and when to break them altogether.

Lean into your quirks, but make sure they serve a purpose. Uniqueness for the sake of it is exhausting. Uniqueness tied to a goal? That’s magnetic.